Excelsior

Well here’s a review I haven’t been looking forward to: Excelsior.

Excelsior is another of Lidl’s own brewed beers. This beer is a measly 3.9%, but it only costs 59p for a 500ml can, so it’s not a worthwhile complaint. Excelsior has recently received a new design which caused me some confusion when trying to find it in Lidl’s tiny booze aisle. Like several drinks at Lidl, Excelsior seems to be trying to trick inattentive drunkards into thinking they’re buying a well known brand rather than a Chinese-esque German knockoff. In this case Carling.

Excelsior gains its name from the packaging material .

I can’t help but enter this review with a negative attitude towards the drink, as I remember all previous swallowings of the beverage to be some of the worst experiences of my life. Still, here I am with another can of Lidl’s finest.

Excelsior pours a dehydrated, urine coloured liquid with almost no head. There is little information on the can other than it is “Lager” which contains “Barley, Gluten and Wheat”. The smell is surprisingly inviting compared to what I remember, consisting of the usual lagery aroma perhaps with a hint of dandelion, not completely unlike Harp. Begrudgingly, I took a mouthful of the drink knowing damn well what was to come…

In all honesty I was not expecting what I tasted. Excelsior is unflavoursome but is as easy to drink as any other lager. I would definitley reccommend this beer as a cheap session drink for the sole purpose of getting shitfaced, until suddenly the aftertaste kicks in. Now I remember why I avoid this beer.

Excelsior leaves a lingering aftertaste of what I can only describe as sucking biscuit crumbs out of a carpet. Each exhale emphasises the well worn shoe-tasting finish of this beer. The natural reaction of this taste is to reach for the nearest drink to wash it away, which is always going to be the unfinished can of Excelsior sitting beside you.

As you slowly despise this drink more and more, the beer’s true flavour really comes out as it heats to room temperature. Excelsior is a beer you will definitely want to consume as soon as you lift it from the fridge. The cold temperature will help kill off your taste buds while you can quickly guzzle the fluid. Consuming this when warm can only be compared to sucking on a heavily used, flavourless teabag.

Excelsior is clearly no competitor to the pisswater of Carling, but don’t let this be a deterrent. Add a healthy pour of vodka to the drink and this will instantly neutralise any off flavours, resulting in overpowered lager perfection.

Booze Review rating: 2/10 deliciouses

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28 Responses to Excelsior

  1. frank says:

    The can is now blue i bought 12 from Lidl drunk all 12 (500ml) maybe its the 500 ml why i am attracted to this lager them 440ml’s piss me off ! , it don’t say jack shit on the can i was wondering where it was brewed, probably in a loft in a terraced street with 300 weed plants for company, but i can tolerate the drink with a tad of lemonade i buy the ‘diet lemonade’ from Lidl 2 litre & 17p which is a bargain…i look at it this way 12 cans of this beer with a tad of lemonade i am pissed as a fart & hangover 6-10 in strength, i went to bed at 1-30 am & was in a comatose state until 12-00pm sick bucket empty & i took 2 paracetomel & sunk half a pint of water…if your fussy leave it alone, if your not fussy give it a sample, if you buy 4 you get a discount……..

  2. Local Lidl Drinker says:

    I’ve just bought four of these for the princely sum of £3.
    I received a 41p discount from Lidl bringing them to the sum total for four for £2.59 which (crunchity crunchity) works out at just under 65p a can at 2014 prices. Clearly inflation and booze duty have hit Lidl hard in recent years.

    Drink as chilled as possible and you will not be disappointed.

  3. drinker says:

    This drink is really horrible.
    Lidle used to have ( and still has in the rest of Europe) their own brand of beer under the name Grafenwalder.
    Grafenwalder is a very good beer for a value price, but this Excelsior is a rip off…

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  6. Me says:

    Excelsior aint too nice.

    Another beer that Lidl’s do is Galereux. It’s Galericious.

  7. Robin Gordon says:

    Have been drinking this beer for a number of years and in my opinion EXCELSIOR is a fantastic value for money drink . At 79p per 500ml can it is a great buy, has a great foamy head, and when chilled tastes great. Some of these critics are talking through their behinds and must have been drinking their own piss.

  8. Listen, excelsior is my favourite canned lager out there. If you freeze it ice cold and pour it into a tall glass its magnificant. i personally disagree with everything said here, excelsior all the way !!!

  9. simon says:

    its now dropped to 55p a can if you buy four . to be fair as an ice cold can of cheao lager when you get home from work its perfect . as a serious lager? well 55p a can says it all . always have a few in my fridge for the hot summer days and ice cold its fiiiine 🙂

  10. Hamez says:

    That plus Captain Morgans
    fucked me up

  11. Its better when you drink it through a tube in your buttom #butchugging

  12. Mike gummie says:

    I know man me and my bros butt chug the heck out of excelsior

  13. mads says:

    by far the dirtiest drink ive ever encountered if you could call it a drink it tasted like sand, i can only say i wouldnt give my worst enemy even a sip, it leaves the most vile after taste in your mouth if you could imagine what eating a wet dog would taste like then you have it do not buy this vile vile drink, cheers,

    MADS

  14. Fletch says:

    I would happily buy Big Brian Gos a nice runny chicken curry and then let him shite all over my face

  15. Mads says:

    Fletch man that’s crazy! This is to review a drink we don’t need your kind here!

    Cheers

    Madssss

  16. Anonymous says:

    its the best beer money can buy thanks lidl 4 the best beer in the world

  17. excelsior dave says:

    wot can i say me and my best mate robin ave been drinking it 4 years best beer in the world thanks lidl keep buying the excelsior no beer comes near

  18. Garp Travers says:

    “Excelsior leaves a lingering aftertaste of what I can only describe as sucking biscuit crumbs out of a carpet. ”

    That’s EXACTLY what it tastes like.

    The lager is drinkable and gets the job done but it has to be cold and drunk fast.

  19. John the larger lout says:

    I agree with the posts that state it’s OK if drunk cold and fast. If not its like you become 13 forcing larger down to get passed even though you hate it. To be fair next time I’m Lidl I will probably purchase again, but in same breath will not be rushing back

  20. Robin says:

    Those who are making negative comments about EXCELSIOR are absolute snobs. Brainwashed by those promoting the big brand names. Brainless idiots.

  21. davy says:

    best beer money can buy keep buying excelsior simply the best

  22. Moarbeers says:

    Cheap and shit. It does taste like sand but like everyone else said drink it really cold and it’s not so abysmal. Especially after 2-3 cans when you’re past giving a shit. Careful on the hang tho. Too many of these give you stinking headache and makes your shits all frothy. Must be some shit they put in it that turns my ass inside out.

  23. Robin says:

    Still drinking EXCELSIOR a brilliant beer. You guys with negative comments your taste in alcohol is shite.

  24. The sheep who said moo says:

    Years down the line and time for an update.
    Now comes in lovely (ermmm) blue cans. No longer is it trying to imitate the weaker than urine chav-juice that is Carling…. it’s imitating a certain allegedly Australian beer.
    Year later… yes it’s cheap lager. All I can say is it isn’t totally undrinkable and at least it’s better than Carling (but so is the moisture sucked from the walls of a motorway service station toilet). If all you want is a cold one at a barbecue to go with your charred to a crisp burgers, well why pay more.

    It’s more expensive Lidl offering Galereux has gone down in quality and Excelsior is “probably” better. The weirdness gets weirder though if you have a can of Fosters to compare. The quality of Fosters is noticeable….. and we’re talking Fosters here. Ok Fosters nowadays (they must have changed the recipe) isn’t anywhere near as bad as people say but it’s still budget. Pay your (not much) money and take your choice

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