Oh lawdy, I gots me some purple drank!
Today’s review is a bottle of Cactus Jack’s Blackcurrant Schnapps. This drink is 15% in a 200ml bottle costing £2.89. You can get it in a 500ml bottle, usually with 50% extra free, but this is booze for women and children so I really didn’t want to spend much money or commit to drinking a whole bottle of it.
Cactus Jack’s is a heavily flavoured, colourful booze whose target demographic seems to be women/pussies who don’t enjoy the taste of a heavily poured whiskey. At 15% it is slightly stronger than wine and twice the price meaning it is nowhere near cost effective. You can often pick up bigger bottles of Cactus Jack’s at a reduced price which can sometimes make it more worthwhile, but generally it’s overpriced. The label says to “Enjoy straight from the fridge or over ice” which could have been simplified as “Serve cold”, so I’m going to take them up on their suggestion and drink it straight from the fridge.
Cactus Jack’s is a very unhealthy looking deep purple drink, similar in colour to washing up liquid or cough syrup and kind of reminds me of Flaming Moe’s from The Simpsons. It smells like Ribena mixed with Calpol with no detectable boozy scent. The taste is pretty much the same as the smell with the added extra of tasting like a throat lozenge. I can see why this would appeal to non-drinkers, but there is no taste of alcohol from it which makes it a complete waste of time to anybody who drinks booze because it is boozy. It doesn’t even taste like good blackcurrant juice, it tastes like you’re drinking the concentrate. By the end of the tiny bottle, Cactus Jack’s is just annoying to drink, so I’m quite happy I only bought a tiny bottle.
Cactus Jack’s is overpriced and underalcoholed. It could work as a hungover drink that you can sip at without paying much attention but it gets sickening and you could make a much more effective drink with vodka and fruit juice.
Booze Review rating: 2/10 deliciouses